One can be either a people-pleaser or a self-pleaser. Finding a balance between the two requires special skills, however, I believe, there is nothing wrong with being a self-pleaser. I, in all honesty, am one. I am not saying that you disrespect others or their choices but give a fair amount of time to your own choices and dreams. Be Selfish. We have got one life and so many things to do then why restrict ourselves and kill your dreams for others.
We, women, have these motherly instincts which make us believe that everyone should be happy with us. Even if that makes us uncomfortable. Somehow, I have always been the selfish one (I don’t regret it even a bit). I love myself and my happiness over anything in the world, maybe that’s why I never regret any decision of my life, even the wrong ones (if nothing else, it gave me an experience).
Here are five reasons why I think being selfish is okay, keep your happiness first and rest will follow:
-
My wrong or right is mine, no one to blame
Being selfish gives me the freedom to choose my own battles and prepare my strategies. If I fail, I take it as an experience or a lesson and if I succeed that’s a feather in my cap. There is absolutely no scope for blaming my failure on someone else and the same goes for the success in my life. The feel of resentment is minimal or nil because we do not over-give ourselves or our time to others
-
A sense of fulfillment
Being selfish means you are giving time to yourself and as a result, you feel more fulfilled health-wise and emotionally too. Keep other’s happiness in mind but do not sacrifice yours to make others happy. Giving your body and emotions gives you positivity in life and a reason to make your life more beautiful. Take a few minutes out of your schedule to make sure you enjoy your “Me-time”, relax or distress and get rejuvenated.
-
Don’t leave your life in an autopilot mode
We will see what happens next or let it be, it will fall into its place is not a way to live your life. You are the creator of your own destiny. Hold the life with its horn and take it into a direction you want to go. When I make a specific effort to put myself first on my list of priorities, I am trying to live a more mindful life. The practice of making sure your own needs are met requires actually identifying and taking stock of your own needs (both physical and emotional).
-
Self-confidence is a bonus
Once you become aware of your own happiness and start working towards it, you automatically start gaining self-confidence. Being selfish doesn’t mean that you start ignoring others, however, it definitely doesn’t imply that you live your life on others term. We gain self-confidence when we learn from our mistakes and know that we are prepared for what is coming next. After putting us on a priority list We will set ourselves up to spend more time feeling good and confident, and less time feeling burnt out and incapable of achievement.
-
Be selfish and give a purpose to your life
If your purpose in life is to make others happy and live a life that doesn’t keep your choice of things in line then, my friend, you need an intervention. When was the last time you took that solo trip you always secretly wished? Do you remember when was the last time you wore that you always wanted but dint because “log kya kahenge”? When was the last time you decide to follow your hobby because you never had time to do that? If your answer is “I don’t remember” then this blog is a wakeup call for you.
Give yourself more of the things you need to be happy and cut down on those self-sacrificing outlays of your valuable energy. The idea is very simple. The happier, healthier, and more self-fulfilled you are, the more you will have to give to the causes and people who matter the most to you.
“This blog is a link up with Zainab for #WhatILove”
If you liked reading this, then please do not forget to subscribe to our newsletter. Have you checked our parenting zone or recipe section? Also, if you like my work, don’t forget to follow me on INSTAGRAM.
Self love is very important otherwise one will be torn away as a person.
Very well put. When it comes to thinking about the self, we first think a lot about the world and what others will think about us. But it’s imp to put our foot down and maintain one’s own sanity.
I so needed to read something like this today. Putting myself first makes me feel guilty sometimes. Thanks for this blog.
I have slowly started to understand and appreciate the importance of self care, self love & at times being selfish as well in life. I love this piece – #Bookmarked !
I am glad you chose to write on this buddy. I read your post on Instagram and could instantly relate as I am a self pleaser too
I wonder why selfishness is considered negative since loving and respective yourself is a good thing. Women must be selfish to know the own worth and live life on their own terms.
I love myself and love to please myself too. If that is selfishness then I am a certified selfish person.
Jhilmil D Saha recently posted…Top 5 Skincare Trends to Look for in 2020
It’s important to follow your heart and dreams and most importantly, live for yourself. As everyone has only one life to live.
Putting yourself first is called selfish then yes,I am selfish too. It is so important like you explained in your post
Anahita Irani recently posted…Mandore Gardens Jodhpur – Memorable and Magnificent
I agree if someone call me selfish if I take my time and take my life decisions …it’s sometimes great to be selfish!! Liked your post!!
Lovely post kavita wonderful write up I agree being selfish sometimes counts…
I have learned it now, think about yourself first! Very different from what I have been taught. Yes, sometimes its good to be selfish.
I can’t agree with the fact that loving yourself is a type of selfishness. Yeah! People can say this. Past few years have changed my mindset totally. When I was ill and I felt how important to keep me as a priority. Loved the post dear!
We can’t always make others happy all the time.Sometimes we have to make choices and if it’s not harming anyone then it’s not selfishness.All of us have our own dreams and goals and we must do everything we can to achieve them. Of-course when some people become obstacles in the path then that time we need to be selfish for ourselves and just do the right thing that satisfies and build confidence in us.
Kavita, if we love ourselves and take control of our lives that can’t be selfish. Of course we the mediocre society would label us selfish and that’s okay. It was a delight to read.
I’m completely selfish and I’m proud of it… I’ve got wings now after reading your blog. Women have to be strong and stand for what makes them happy…
Brutal honesty about being selfish and why it works – agree with it all and raise a toast to you in salute for your bravery and honesty in embracing self love!!
If being selfish makes me a better person than why not..and to be honest if loving yourself is being selfish thn we all should be a little more isn’t
Yes true. Selfishness for self care is what I agree. It will make u happy n in turn others around will be happy
I feel like my life has been on auto pilot ever since I became a mom. I needed to read this..thank you!!
It’s a fine line between being people pleaser and self pleaser but the important thing to remember is to put yourself first always.
Important thing to remember is that you can’t keep everyone happy all the time. Remember to prioritise yourself too.
You do what you must do .A very powerful post to remind us the power rests in us
I love all your points. Self-love is must & being selfish is very important to live happier, healthier life ❤
You are the creator of your own destiny! Such a powerful statement and something that everyone must remember.
Yes, we have to be selfish for noone else but ourselves. I liked the 3rd pointer’s title. Forget about.log Kya kahenge? Logo ka kaam hai kehena.
I love your points, it’s ok to be selfish I agree!