Dear readers, the blogs from now on will be more frequent, hopefully. The changes in my routine are helping me save a bit more time to write and smile, well, having a grandparent around is nothing less than a blessing. This year has started on a challenging note healthwise and someone or the other keeps visiting hospitals from the family. Writing these blogs is my meditation and way to find solace too 🙂
When I was in my teens I thought that applying winged eyeliner was one of the toughest jobs on earth (Not that I am a pro now!) and then I started going to an office. Early morning hours till I reached the office were sheer madness and I thought life could never be this haphazard, turns out life took it as a challenge. Finding a routine and sticking to it was a piece of cake back then. However, the morning hours were still maddening because the house was small and there were 5 adults living in there, all had to leave at the same time.
Eight years of motherhood and two kids later I fully understand the true meaning of exhaustion. The house isn’t small anymore and the adults are just two, the other two tiny humans are there to watch us over during our morning chaos. Both the kids are in bed before nine o’clock at night but the downside of putting them to bed this early is that they both are up at six in the morning without any alarm.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand it is a wonderful habit to wake up early but only a mother knows that by it hits 10 a.m. it feels like we have been up for days. Now we both go to the office and leave almost at the same time, along with leaving both the kids to their schools. I can’t explain the morning madness at my place. Sticking to a routine isn’t in the picture because I have no clue what mood my toddler will wake up in and our plans keep changing accordingly.
Here are a few points that I have experienced since I rejoined the corporate world which is going to be two years now. I took a sabbatical of 7 years and rejoined the office routine, I believe almost all moms relate to this, irrespective of being a stay-at-home mom or the office-going one. Let me know in the comment section below if you can relate to any or all of these points:
Coffee/Tea is a bae and the calm before the storm
No matter which part of the world you belong to if you ask for a secret to parenthood journey then a cup of tea or coffee tops the list. For me, I cannot function until I gulp my morning tea. My brain denies recognizing the presence of human existence till the time I don’t taste tea in the morning. Since I became a mom many things have changed but the morning tea routine is still the same. I would rather get up 10 minutes early to have my tea in peace than leave the house like a “Never talk to me again” kind of person. However, a lot has changed since I became a parent of two kids.
The younger one is attached to me and wakes up the moment I leave the bed irrespective of the time. I enjoy all the morning cuddles and kisses and to be honest, it is one of the best feelings in the whole world. However, I need those few minutes of my own before the morning storm hits us.
The constant overload of to-do lists in your brain
A couple of days ago I was on a walk and was speaking to a friend of mine when she mentioned what I had been feeling forever. The covid introduced us to the format of work from home for many of us but I can say without a doubt that gender plays an enormous role here. My husband and I, both had a work-from-home work opportunity for a year but somehow the working situations for both of us have some drastic differences.
My work from home includes getting up from the system for the umpteenth time because something or the other needs my immediate attention in the house. From maid to mom and from wailing kid to an urgent decision related to home duties, the list is never-ending. A sick child needs his mother and there is no debate there. In short, our work from home isn’t practically just working from home, it comes with certain terms and conditions.
Due to taking care of things on all fronts because we have opted for this life the to-do list is a never-ending task.
Mom Guilt
I think this one needs no explanation. Mom’s guilt is a part and parcel of motherhood. In our heads, we always keep falling short of being the version we thought we would be. Judgments from society are icing on the cake. From breastfeeding or formula feeding to the child’s food habits, from their weight to their behavior, it is a constant guilt trip a mom has to go through. It is like a generational trauma and will take plenty more time to break the cycle. Although, women around the world are trying every day to break the shackles of such thinking the journey is quite long at the moment.
Every office-going mom would understand when I say there aren’t enough times we feel that we are not giving enough time to our kids. Social media adds to the pressure although we know the difference between virtual reality it hits us on all different levels.
The unwanted tag of being a “Supermom/Superwoman”
I do not want to be tagged as a supermom or superwoman. This unwanted tag is doing more wrong than good. Nobody can manage all of it on their own, it is indeed true that it takes a village to raise a kid. People who don’t have a village of their own create it around them. It is nearly impossible to maintain a work-life balance and not feel the need to give some more time to either kids or your work. For the women, who opt to work after being a mother is challenging enough, and then the tag of being a “perfect mother” built on societal expectations makes the situation worse.
Everything that we see on social media is a curated format for a few minutes of our life and then as a mom, we all start beating ourselves mentally for the lack of activities we do with kids or the proper lunchboxes we see. I have been on both sides of the story and I can assure you that all the perfectly curated images and videos don’t proof that the human behind it is not drowning in mom guilt as me and you.
Office-going moms or stay-at-home moms, we all want what is best for our children. Being with our little humans fills our day with happiness. Their smile turns around any bad day and a hug will make everything seem better. This little blog post might feel like a rant to a few of the readers but I am pretty sure there is a mom tribe out there who would resonate with it.
To all those moms who are reading this, a warm hug to you. Work-life balance is a myth especially if you are a mom. Somedays are good and some days are bad, but that’s how we have been fighting to find a foot in the world of being a “Supermom” 🙂
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