Dear readers, drop a comment on this blog if you are a mother and understand the guilt-ridden motherhood expectations. In almost a decade-long experience of motherhood, I have been through mammoths of emotions, judgment, phases, and moods. However, since the introduction of social media into our lives, a lot has changed. It is a boon and a bane in our lives as a mothers.
The social media curse is real, or maybe this is life in general. Social validation is a part of many of our lives now, and the more you get to be here, the more you get to connect (reel or real? Who knows) with brands/fraternity.
But it starts to play with your day slowly and gradually creeps in in the form of crankiness or mood swings. You won’t notice, but social media exposure is not only bad for kids but also shapes our minds.
Empowering: Easy access to information and community
When motherhood knocked on my door and circumstances decided the course of my career, it was this “Mom community” on the internet that brought me back to life. I met moms who went through similar changes and fought through all odds. My career trajectory took a 180-degree turn, and a new world opened up to me. Not only did I find my tribe on social media, but it also started to pay my bills. The void I felt after leaving a decade-long career in corporate started to hurt a little less. We, millennial women, are trying to make sense of “earn my money” and “be the best homemaker”, carrying the burden of societal expectation while fighting the patriarchal norms every day on the other hand.
However, what worked in favour of social media was that it gave a chance to be heard by millions. We were constantly in touch with someone who could help out, answers were in our handheld devices, and we knew how to navigate through motherhood (or at least try our best). Chatting with women going through a similar experience and learn through it, sharing our experiences with new moms. Women who did not know us replied to our queries in the middle of the night through these platforms, and many of us found our tribe of women to rely on.
Social media opened up a new world for many of us. Some stay here for a quick dopamine hit, others for monetary gains, and then some of us get both out of it.
It is an empowering tool as long as you don’t become the tool in the hands of social media.
Overwhelming: Are we enough?
A nudge here and a virtual push there, you will find yourself scrolling on social media for hours.
To create content, one has to consume content. Doom scrolling seems scary to read, yet we often find ourselves sitting in the same ditch without even realizing it. The pressure of deadlines, unexpected goals in our minds, and some fictional characters handling it like a pro (you know what I am talking about, shhh, we all know)on our feed lead us into the zone of “mood swings,” “comparison hell,” or “Inadequacy Loop. ” At the end of the day, we all start to question, ‘if we are enough?”
A lot has changed in the last decade. The communities are still there, however, the platform is full of superficial motherhood expectations, too. It is impossible to remain unbothered if one is hit by content showcasing the myth of “perfect motherhood.”
If you have read till now, then this is a reminder, please have a schedule to use your phone. Please keep it away and pick up something else. Have a routine of using it, and I know it is easier said than done, but do not take it to bed.
Pick up any hobby, immerse yourself in experiences, the physical touch of books, colors, gardening, painting, or maybe enjoy the art of “doing nothing” 🙂
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Mom of a 17-yo and I could resonate with this. I feel like I’m drowning in the corporate world. And yes, social media is both empowering and overwhelming. I’m now on Instagram on during the weekends because I cannot take so much during the week. It’s all been so difficult.